I Am the Master of the Common Cold – and I Can Reveal Ways to Prevent It

At this point the previous year, I was on a TV programme alongside three vocalists. There was a rapper of Ghanaian heritage, a well-known pop singer, and a famous mezzo-soprano. It was deep midwinter. The previous evening, I’d been at an old friend’s 60th birthday, squeezed into a pub's event space somewhere in Surrey. It was an enjoyable evening, but now, simply to make conversation, I questioned how it was possible to avoid catching a cold with many partygoers were part of an orchestra of winter ailments. On a side note, how come some people have nose-blows like trumpets, and others don’t? Something to explore later.

The Reaction by the Singers

Upon referencing the party, these three musicians in the waiting area responded in two ways. First, they moved back a bit. Second, they started a passionate debate on how to avoid catching colds which naturally enough given their line of work was something of an obsession for them. I understand that, but I'm also deeply invested – I need to dodge colds no matter what since my colds are more severe than others'. There's no doctor's note to prove it, yet I'm certain it's factual. My illnesses drag on. My nasal passages are more congested, my throat is scratchier, my coughing fits are louder, barkier and apparently endless. Those at home, wise to the couple of quick throat-clearances that signal an oncoming cold, often shoo me away or leave themselves. Back when I presented football on ITV, my poor colleagues in the studio gallery became familiar with the indicators. “Earpieces out!” the producer would yell to his team before I deafened them all, overloading their audio gear.

Handling Nasal Congestion

As for my blocked noses, I could go on and on. Nasal sprays, decongestants, including the intense vapor from heated brandy my mum prescribes … they help briefly until they fail. And there’s nothing as pitiable as the sound of a Birmingham accent uttered with blocked nasal passages. I mean, it's somewhat nasal on a good day. Fortunately, this often brings compassion, though that's not necessarily beneficial. In my first year away at university, without my mother's home remedies, the cleaner in our halls of residence showed me kindness. “I have the perfect solution, you unfortunate soul. I’ll be back in a minute.” She was extremely kind, with a strong Irish accent, and adamant that I consume the uncooked, peeled onion she presented to me. She stood and watched me do so. Bless her. It didn't help at all, unfortunately, except for upsetting my stomach and making my breath smell terrible.

The Vocalist’s Cold Avoidance Regime

So no, I despise catching colds and am quite sure that prevention is better than the cures that whether folk remedies or not, are ineffective. I focused carefully together with the other artists while she explained her health practices. Due to upcoming holiday performances, she approached it with great diligence. She directed us to sanitize hands regularly all winter long as far as I could deduce and, extra steps were needed during festivities. Prior to socializing, she advised several sprays of a preventive product up each nostril – even if healthy. Intense. I like it. Moreover, she mandated a second dose later with additional bursts of the product.

My Experience

I was in. And I must admit I snuffled not once all last winter. It wasn't perfect: the many containers I acquired, lost, reacquired, rediscovered, etc. And the disappointing instant you realise you’ve sat on the little vessel of hand gel stored in your pocket and it's oozing out. Still, all a price worth paying. With winter returning, I'm stocked up with the singer's suggested supplies. I’m ready for battle.

Stacy Hughes
Stacy Hughes

A cybersecurity specialist with over a decade of experience in threat analysis and digital infrastructure protection.